Heartbroken? 

In a hateful humor?

Hungering for human holiday heyday?

Harboring hopeless hysteria?

 

Here's how to hinder humiliating hours of harmful hubris:

Don't hibernate next to your hearth like a hesitant hermit doing homework! Haul your hamhocks over to my humble haunted hovel where we’ll be hauling toward the hereafter as hordes of horrific half-breeds and hideous hellhounds hover and hiss above the hubbub of a

HUGE HALLOWEEN HULLABALOO!

 

HOORAY! HURRAH! HALLELUJAH!

Pay homage to the hippest hellions of the hereafter

(humorously haunting habits are helpful):

 

Howl hemidemisemiquavers in hypnotic harmonies at the heavens!

 

Hellish hags with heretical hearts hook up with huge hairy hunchbacks!

 

Hippies hang out with hobos and hastily hammer out half-baked heterodoxical hypotheses about heaven and hell!

 

Haggle hoarsely with haughty high-spirited hoodlums!

 

Hit on horny hetaerae and hot, handsome hunks! (However: harangue heinous hypocrites who harass hesitant heroines)

 

Hack up hamburger with hatchets for hemophagic hilarity!

 

Headless horsemen hurl the harvest at the heads of hapless hobbits!

 

Hemorrhage harmlessly with horrible homemade hemoglobin!

 

Help heckle homeless henpecked hucksters with helpful hospitality hints!

 

Household:

Hour: